Ship Fat

Since we’re headed back to America, today was another sea day.  I have a hard time finding things to occupy my time, so I decided to cough up some serious cash and get a facial at the ship’s spa.  I had never had one before, so I didn’t know what to expect.  Various creams were put on my face and the woman rubbed little, metal probe-looking things over my face.  The metal probe things were hooked up to a machine.  I have no idea what they did, but it was relaxing.

After lunch, the Incorrectness team played some ship games.  One game, “The Amazing Spirit Race” was a scavenger hunt where players in teams of four had to complete the entire game with linked arms (and never unlink them).  Even though my feet were stepped on countless times, it was fun.

I must have done a bit too much eating on this cruise, because a woman in the elevator asked me when my baby was due…  I don’t think I look pregnant!  And who’s bold enough to ask a woman if she’s pregnant, anyway?!?

Tonight was another elegant night, where we had to wear formal clothes to dinner, I always enjoy dressing up, so these nights are my favorite.

After dinner, we went to the ship’s Vegas style show.  And wow… it was bad… amazingly bad…  hysterically bad… ridiculously bad.

Honestly, I wish I could find some words to describe the show.  You would have had to see it.  We were cracking up at the poor choreography, lighting mistakes and inconsistencies.  Did you know mermaids can do splits?  Neither did I, until I saw it on stage.  We had a great time just laughing at it all after the show.

I’m really excited to be going back home!

Seriously Sick Snorkels

Today I had a chance to sleep in a bit.  I then decided to have breakfast in the dining room.  I was seated with some interesting people from the Parkinson’s group.  Soon after I was seated, one elderly lady at the table began asking me strange questions.  I soon realized she thought I worked on the ship.  Her son whispered to me, “She has Alzheimer’s.  Just go with it.”  So I went with it.

I told her all about the cruise ship.  How it took about 5 years to build the ship, the theme of the decor was based on artistic styles, employees work on 8 month contracts…  I’m sure some of what I told her is probably true.

After breakfast, we got to Manzanillo and went to the beach.  As expected, someone met us at our cab, offering to take us on his boat for a tour of the coast and some snorkeling.  After quite a bit of negotiating, we were able to charter the boat for $10 per person.  Can’t really beat that, huh?

As a germophobe, I was concerned with renting a snorkel.  I was just hoping there was at least some basic sanitation involved.

Anyway, snorkeling was amazing!  There were huge schools of colorful fish swimming just beneath us.  The guides would dive below, picking up various sea life for us to touch.  I got to hold snails, urchins and starfish.  It was breathtaking.

Remember that concern about the snorkels?  Well, when we gave our snorkels back, the guide threw them back into the “clean” pile of snorkels.  I thought, maybe they just clean them all at once.  Unfortunately, I was wrong.  When we got back to the shore, the guide handed the bucket of snorkels off to the next boat of snorkelers.  Not even a rinse!!!  Gross…  I think I’m feeling a little ill.

Tomorrow, we’re headed back to the USA.  Adios, Mexico!

Finally on Vacation

Today we were in Zihuatenejo.  We had planned on going snorkeling, but the water was too choppy.  Instead, we decided to go shopping and relax at the beach.

We took a tender boat to shore because the ship was too large to dock there.  Right by the dock was a huge shopping area.  The shops closest to the dock were considerably more pricey than the shops a bit further inland.

The shops were mostly selling t-shirts and handbags.  I wasn’t super interested.  Plus, I’m getting a little bit sick of haggling for everything.

We took a water taxi to Los Gatos beach.  Once we reached the beach, a man met us at the dock promising us “good food, cold beer, beach chairs, umbrellas and clean bathrooms” at his restaurant.  He wasn’t lying (except about the bathrooms, but I’ll explain that later).

Lounging on the beach, sipping a cold beer, I finally felt like I was really on vacation.  I just sat in the lounge chair… feet in the sand… looking out at the water… while food and drinks were brought right to me.  Ahhhh, this is paradise…

Unfortunately, I was soon reminded that I was in (not so sanitary) Mexico when I attempted to use the “clean” bathroom.  The door did not lock, or even close all the way.  There was no toilet paper, and not even a toilet seat!

I managed to do my business, then was eager to wash my hands.  However, when I turned on the faucet, no water came out.  I looked over at the restaurant owner and he said, “Oh, no water?  I’ll go fill the bucket.”  I looked up, and there was a bucket on top of the roof, with a hose running to the faucet.

Where is he getting the water to fill the bucket?  Nevermind…  Maybe it’s better if I don’t know.

Acapulco Haggling

We FINALLY arrived in Acapulco at noon.  Just after getting off the ship, we met for our kayaking excursion at La Roqueta beach.  It was incredibly fun.

The water and coastline were amazingly beautiful.  And the warm, sea-misty breeze was just the thing to rejuvinate my desert dried skin.

Most people were complaining about the hot, humid air.  I was loving it.  Breathing in the warm, moist air felt like I was finally really breathing for the first time since I moved to the arid desert.

Anyway, kayaking was really fun.  Unfortunately, one of my friends got sea sick.  I never really knew the meaning of “projectile vomit” until this day.

After kayaking, we started walking toward a market we had heard about.  In the process, we were accosted by people trying to sell us things or cab rides.  One guy decided he would walk us to the market, hoping we would buy from his family’s store.

He would walk out into crazy traffic with his hands up, stopping traffic for us to cross. I wondered if that would work if I did it… But I decided I would give it a try another time.

The market was a total bust.  Not only was the stuff they were selling total crap, but they were asking outrageous prices.  I’m no stranger to haggling, but these people just would not be reasonable.

Frustrated, we headed off to get some food.  I had some tasty pork tacos.  On the way back to the boat, we came upon a row of shops with reasonable prices on souvenirs.  I got most of the items on my list without breaking the bank.

I can’t say I loved Acapulco, but it was a good day.

Visor Bling

I woke up late this morning and missed breakfast, which I guess isn’t a bad thing since I feel like I’ve already gained 10 pounds.

We played a bean bag toss and Quizingo in our “Incorrectness” shirts.  I’m getting a little sick of people constantly asking what our shirts mean.  Most of the time it’s ok, but I really don’t like to be stopped while I’m chowing my lunch.

Speaking of lunch, today’s “Taste of the Nations” was Caribbean.  I was really excited to try it because I miss Caribbean food (you can’t really get it in the middle of the desert).  Unfortunately, the cruise Caribbean food did not exactly hit the mark on authenticity, but I was please to have it nonetheless.

The highlight of my day was Adult Arts and Crafts.  We got to make glitter embellished visors.  Don’t be too jealous.  I chose a blue visor with cartoon fish all over it, and yes, I embellished the hell out of it with gold, glitter paint.  Oh yeah!  But the best part of all was all the people who were taking it incredibly seriously.

And I’m missing my fiance big time.  He should have come on the trip.  He’s missing the soft purr of the engines, the gentle crashing of the waves, the lulling hum of a Rascal power chair…

Oh, did I forget to mention we just so happened to book the cruise having a Parkinson’s Convention?  We noticed at the port, when we saw a whole lot of old people, and a whole lot of wheelchairs…  I can tell this cruise will sure be a fun ship!  [sarcasm]

Dancing on the High Seas

I’m really glad I booked my own room on this cruise, but I miss my fiance.

I woke up really early and had breakfast.  Then I sat by, in and around the pool for several hours.  There was a lot of entertainment around the pool area.  I watched a guy carve a swan out of a block of ice (it looked like a seahorse).

Tonight was our first formal night on the cruise.  I love dressing up.  So I’ll take any excuse to wear a gown.

After dinner, and a crappy dance show, we went to the Dancin’ Dance Club.  The club decor was Alice in Wonderland meets the 70’s.  Complete with a lighted floor.  It was so tacky, it was almost cool.  We had a lot of fun!

I’m sick of being at sea.  I’m ready for Mexico, already!

Cruisin’

My friends all twisted my arm to take an 8 day cruise to the Mexican Riviera.  Yes, believe it or not, I did take a lot of convincing.  I am completely out of paid vacation, and had to take unpaid time off to go on this trip.  But since I waited until the very last minute to buy the tickets, the cruise was quite cheap, so I decided to go.

My friends decided that we would wear team shirts.  “What team?”, you ask.  So did a lot of people…

Our team shirts were bright orange and had “Incorrectness” embroidered on the front.  Well, I didn’t order mine in time, so I wrote on it with Sharpie.

Seriously, don’t ask about the “Incorrectness” thing…  Frankly, I’m a little tired of explaining it.  It’s an inside joke among this ridiculous group of friends.

And back to the cruise…  Once on the boat, the eating commenced.  In hindsight, the food really wasn’t that great, but the quantity was unimaginable.  So I guess that alone would make one want to stuff his face.

We had a safety drill, room mix-up, waiting for luggage, dinner, then “Game Show” where two of our friends got to flex their trivia muscles on stage.

After a bit of relaxing, we went to a comedy show.  Unfortunately (and unexpectedly), it was preceded with a poorly choreographed dance routine put to every song with the word “fun” in the chorus: “Girls Just Want to Have Fun”, “All I Wanna Do”, etc.  Oh, I get it, Carnival is the “Fun Ship”.

And my room was better than expected.  The amenities are amazing.  There’s even a bowl in the bathroom with antacids, pain killers, and even fiber chews.